Pearls of Wisdom the series where you’ll get glorious stories and kick-ass advice. All I ask is you listen, be aware or be attune to the moments where things spark or resonate or you feel weird in your stomach. However those moments manifest for you, those are the learning moments. The moments where something tells us to pay attention because by learning from those moments and paying attention to them, that’s when the good shit happens.
This would usually be the part where you’d get to read April’s bio, but in order to honour my passion for story-telling I figured it’d be better for me to tell you a story or three about my beautiful mother.
April is smarter than she’d ever let on. More compassionate and loving then she’d ever let on. More loyal than she’d ever let on. She is the epitome of a strong woman. This means she plays her cards close to her chest, she’s well guarded and her thoughts are always voiced with impeccable timing. She says what she means. If she loves you, she loves you and adores you with her whole heart. She had me when she was 23. Her life has pivoted around me and my brother up until now, where I feel like she finally has time and space to work out what she wants and what is next for her. She can finally worry about herself. And I cannot wait to see what she creates for herself, because if it’s anything like the life she has created for my brother and I then, well this lady is set for radical things. She will tell anyone that being a mother is both the hardest and best job she’s ever done. And as her first born I can totally vouch for her capacity as a mum and a human. She is always honest with me and I can talk to her anything. This was handy when I was a teenager because it meant that I had the go-to Mum. I remember being about twelve or thirteen and my girl friends and I wanted to know what a blow job was. I simply commented, ‘I’ll ask April,’ which I did that night, she told me and I went open-eyed sauntering back to school the next day to discuss my findings. I love this woman with my whole being. I know she would’ve hated every moment of answering these questions, and the fact that there’ll be a blog about her in the ether. But she did it for me, because that is love.
And I made her do it for you, because I knew she’d come up with the goods. Which she did.
Describe your life to date in five words.
Joy. Happy. Stressed. Sad. Content.
What is a book/film/TV show/song that changed your life?
Strong Enough by Cher. This song is the only thing I can think of that changed my life, it made me think ‘I am strong enough.’
How would you describe your relationship with yourself?
I think we get on. She annoys me sometimes, but I like her.
What would you tell your younger self if you had the opportunity?
You don’t need to rush into anything. Study more. Ask questions, it won’t kill you. Follow your dreams. Don’t give a shit what people think. It all turns out okay.
Who do you want to be when you grow up?
Who do I want to be when I grow up? So many people. I would love to be a leader of an anti poaching squad in Africa. And I would love to be a Dancer. I’m so uncoordinated, so this would be funny.
Often we give advice, but don’t take it. What advice do you love to give? What advice do you think you need to hear?
I don’t like giving advice, it just seems to happen, I think I’m a good listener and I don’t judge so it seems to be what I do. My advice to most is,
“You’re better than you think. You deserve better than you’re getting. Speak your mind. You don’t need a man to make you whole.”
I need to hear…
“April, you can do anything, just believe it. And STOP eating sugar!!!”
What are three things you celebrate (or should celebrate) or love about yourself?
I love that I’m kind. I love helping people. I love that I’m strong-willed. We should really celebrate our birthdays I’m nearly 54. Hooray!!!
The term, ‘self-love’ just makes people think about masturbation. Do you have a preferred phrase or term? Why do you think people find it so hard to love who they are?
Ha! Ha! I never think of masturbation when I hear ‘self-love.’ To me it means loving your whole self. Your size, personality, gender, colour etc. Some things we can change about our ourselves: we can lose weight, we can get fit. we can have surgery, but it doesn’t change who we are as people.
Your true self, that’s the person you have to love. Male or Female we all have the same issues. We think, “I’m not good enough…pretty enough…tall enough. I’m too fat…to thin. Why do we place so many negative expecations upon ourselves? We think that what we see in magazines and movies is the truth, that it represented the ‘perfect’ human being, but in reality we can never achieve it, it is all make-believe, a fantasy. I think this is why people find it so hard to love themselves.
We strive for the outer perfection instead of the inner perfection. Self-love. Self-respect. Self-worth. There is a reason they all start with “SELF” you cannot find them in anyone else.
Who are three people you look up to or admire?
I admire John Christian. [That’s my Dad, ya’ll!] John has put his heart and soul into creating a better life for himself and the people around him. He struggled with school but went on to achieve a university Masters degree. It goes to show that you can achieve anything if you want it bad enough. He has a work ethic beyond anyone I know, and this has been passed this down to both of my children.
My friend Tracy, who has since passed. I looked up to her and still do. She faced breast cancer and the treatment that goes with it, including a total mastectomy, and went into remission for 7 years, until it came back in her liver. She fought so hard to live a full life. She didn’t achieve all that she wanted, but she had a good go at it! No words can express how much I look up to that lady. Such strength.
My daughter Claire is someone I look up to and admire. This woman is all I would like to be. She is strong, outspoken, has passion for what she does. The young people that she works with love and admire her. She leaves a trail of good feelings wherever she goes. She is caring, funny, ohhh so many things. I don’t think Claire knows how many people admire and look up to her, I would love just a little bit of the passion she has for her work.
Any pearls of Wisdom?
“Why should we worry about what other people think of us, do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do in our own?” – Brigham Young
I told you she was brilliant.